Mary-Louise Parker wants to set the record straight: She loves being naked.
The star of Showtime’s Weeds (Season 5 premieres Monday, June 8 at 10 pm/ET) is speaking out in response to a recent interview with More magazine that gave the impression that she regretted doing a nude scene in the Season 4 finale episode. “They made it sound like I was like, ‘They made me take my clothes off and chained me to the bathtub,’” Parker says.
In the scene in question, Parker’s character, suburban single mom/drug queenpin Nancy Botwin, sits in the tub and reflects on the many obstacles she faces. The long takes do not shy away from Botwin’s nakedness — both physical and emotional.
The More article, which was excerpted online under the ironic headline of “I Like to Reveal Myself,” quotes the actress as saying that she didn’t think she needed to be naked, and that she fought with the director about it, which made her bitter.
Not exactly, says Parker. “It made it seem like we were fighting, and nobody’s fighting,” says Parker, who repeatedly sang the praises of the show’s creative team. Instead, she says, she was discussing the difference between editing styles in film versus television.
“I was talking about that scene as an example of something I didn’t love as much when I saw it because they kept cutting back and I was naked, but they liked the position of it.”
But Parker wants to be clear that it wasn’t the nudity that bothered her. “I mean, if you know me, it’s like, someone sneezes and I take my clothes off,” she says. “I’m naked in Esquire in August. I was naked on the set the other day. I’m always naked. I’m naked right now, in fact,” she jokes.
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Why Having Sex in Public Is Worth It (Every Time)
Unless you are a prostitute, hotels are a little exhilarating. Tiny amenities wait in the bathroom; sometimes a cookie or a weather forecast on your pillow at bedtime. Soup tastes better than at home. Twenty-dollar cashews.
Hotels are essentially about fleeing: your spouse, your contractor, a needy house pet. Hanging the DO NOT DISTURB sign is a harmless way for me to tell the world to go eat a Clark bar, but even when I check in hoping to disappear, I may decide I want to be at least partially visible. For a different kind of freedom.
Public and even semipublic sex will get you a burst of cortisol and a particular delicious anxiety. If you can’t stomach the thought of a light felony charge or possible public stoning, consider the hallway — the door handle is a great balancing device and has the hard and manageable feel of a gearshift for more control. If you’re a novice and get spooked by the thought of the maid’s cart approaching, just fall back inside and shut the door.
Should you get busted, blame it on the thermostat in your room or say you lunged for the doorway because you felt seismic vibrations, which will make you appear conscientious and up on earthquake-safety rules. For the daring, there is the actual hall, or for extreme halling, the spot near the ashtrays in front of the elevators is terrific.
And for God’s sake, don’t rule out the ice machine. I find that the tongs, the bucket, and the ice itself offer endless possibilities. You may spot some pervert leaning out his door and taping you on his BlackBerry, but try not to get indignant. Instead, calm yourself by remembering that you, also, are a pervert, and revel in the commonality of mankind.
Probable Penalty
A warning, or a fine in the hundreds and, possibly, probation.
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How To Bake A Pie
Turn your oven to 425 degrees. Put three sticks of butter and a bowl of water that has ice in it in the fridge. Cubes, not chips. Put the food-processor bowl and the sharp blade thingy in the freezer.
When that stuff gets cold, take out the bowl and blade and put in 2 3/4 cups of flour, a teaspoon of sugar, and a teaspoon of salt. Cut 2 1/4 sticks of butter into pieces the size of a camera battery and drop them in a couple at a time while hitting “pulse” on the machine till it all looks like coarse meal. If you don’t know what that is, go look at the smaller pieces of gravel in your driveway.
Slowly pour, like, 7 or 8 tablespoons of the ice water in with the flour gravel and pulse it till it comes together into a ball that isn’t sticky. Take it out and knead it on a counter sprinkled with flour, but not too much or the molecules will get stretchy and the dough will be tough.
Form the dough into two big air-hockey pucks and cover with plastic wrap. Put them in the fridge for at least an hour. If you forget about the dough, you can throw it in the freezer (but once the seasons have changed, chuck it).
Roll the pucks into circles bigger than a pie. Drape one over the pie pan with a little extra hanging over, and fill it with cut-up fruit mixed with a little flour, cinnamon, and a drop or two of rum, and dot the top with butter. Cover it with the other dough circle, pinch the edges together, and cut some little holes in the top of the pie with a knife.
Make a design or write a message to someone, code or otherwise. For a yummy, richer crust, brush with heavy cream and sprinkle with raw sugar from the packets at Starbucks. Put foil all around the edge so it doesn’t burn; take it off after the pie has cooked for, like, 20 minutes and turn the temp down to 350.
Cook for 25 minutes more or until juice is bubbling out of the Morse-code slashes. Take it out and let it sit for as long as you can wait but not so long that it gets cold.
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